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Justine Larbalestier
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Josef Škvorecký, Paul Wilson
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James Dashner
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Marie Lu
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Patrick Ness
Why We Broke Up - Maira Kalman, Daniel Handler Sentence: I sentence Daniel Handler to a series of really fortunate events---like a bonus check. If that doesn't make your writing less depressing, nothing will.

Review: Despite my sentence, I actually do not mind Handler's realistically sad and unjust scenarios. This book was not the exception. While, A Series of Unfortunate Events is actually probably the saddest thing that could happen to three siblings, Why We Broke Up is exactly what it sounds like. A collection of things, ideas, memories.

Handler portrays the vindictive and heartbroken perspective of a teenage girl so well, it scares me. Although it is unnecessary for me to point out, just like all of Handler's characters (including in his younger children's storybooks), Min is one strange bird.

That brings me to my points of issue.

1. Min is like a really classy Francophile hipster. How the hell does she, on the slightest chance, get the popular and slutty boy? It annoys me that she cannot seem to grasp that he thinks he loves her because she's different from anything he's ever known/dated. She may still be idealistic, but it's almost like she's kind of dumb. This is not the first time he has cheated.

I can live with this point of issue, however, given the fact that she does seem a little oblivious.

2. Apparently Min is either a fast writer or it is the longest ride ever. She writes this entire book on the ride over to her ex-boyfriend's house. Somehow this doesn't compute, even if they stopped somewhere on the way.

3. Min is actually kind of like a creepy pack-rat. She keeps many cute things from their time together, but also a lot of random crap I would've thrown out. I do get the stealing-thing though. Good souvenirs...I can relate!

4. The timeline is confusing. I'm not sure whether they've been together six weeks or six months. All I can remember, timewise, is their two month anniversary.

5. Min's perspective is very amusing and sure you sort of feel for her, except that she almost doesn't feel enough (even with the heartbreak). The writing is too calm and collected. Her thoughts never seem to be confused, but I do recall her little stabs at Ed's personality here and there. Overall, Min's perspective is not enough.

6. They broke up because Ed cheated, right? But Min seems to blame several things for their break up, including his freaking flaky-ass personality. And how she should've known months before (or weeks?). It makes me wonder whether Ed will even read this entire book of stuff. Does he know how to read?

7. There seem to be many unacknowledged family issues (unelaborated, rather). This includes Ed's non-mention of his mom and their situation; his sister being nosy, but not enough to warn off Min; Min's arguments with her mother; where is her dad again?

8. The banter is too witty. I don't trust it.

I did rather enjoy this book, and can admit that if it is meant to just be Min's take on their break up and relationshit; then it's pretty damn good. But I really wanted it to be about her actually moving on; hooking up with her best friend; and growing up to be much better than that asshole Ed. I guess I'll just imagine it that way.